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I beat Fable 2, and boy did that piss me off.

After you run Reaver's (the thief) errand that ends in you choosing between turning yourself into an old man or a girl who got lost in the dungeon into an old woman, you go back and he says he's going to sell you to Lucian. But he has a change of mind when Lucian sends an army to smash his town. The two of you then escape through some secret passage, which leads to his ship, which is then sunk by a floating crystal called a Shard. Garth said you defeat it by constantly hitting it with Magic, except he didn't specify it had to be Shock which I didn't have any levels on, but at least I had enough EXP to take it from Lv. 0 to Lv. 5 instantly.

After the Shard is destroyed, Theresa comes and teleports you to some spot where the other three heroes have to combine their power to give you the weapon you need to destroy Lucian. In the middle of it, Lucian shows up to ruin everything and teleport the other three heroes away, then taunt you for a while.

And then he shoots your dog. FUCKER!

Then you have a dream where you're a kid again and your sister are playing around a farm, go to bed, are awaken in the middle of the night by the sound of the music box from the beginning of the game, then you find and retrieve the music box.

When you wake up you're inside the Spire and have to find and defeat Lucian. One room later you find him on a tiny pillar surrounded by energy from the other three heroes you found. How do you beat him? Is it a battle like the one your ancestor had with Jack of Blades, you versus Lucian weilding the power of the Spire and turning the three other heroes against you? Does he fuse with the other three heroes into some powerful monster you have a firey climactic showdown with?

You run up to him, hold A to play the music box until his barrier disintigrates, then shoot him in the face.

I wish I was making that up.

The Spire is active and can grant one wish, and you have to choose from reviving the thousands who died building the tower, reviving your sister and dog, and money. Any reason I couldn't have all three? I went with reviving my dog, even though he should have died of old age long before.

As for having been turned into an old man, I didn't particularly mind it (I was 65 years old, the maximum age, when I beat the dragon in Fable 1, which I like to make-believe that my guy telling the dragon to get off his lawn), except for the glowing red eyes thing. Those went away after I beat the game. I think most of my ire about character appearance is about how ugly your character is in this game, even when he isn't an old man. He kind of looks like Jay Leno with a square face. And your choices of clothing and hairstyles sucked. I don't know about tattoos because now that I think about them I never looked. Still, I doubt there's anything in here that could top the Griffin and Fire Monkeys tattoos I got in Fable 1.

I remember how much I dicked around with Fable 1 after I beat the dragon, but I seriously doubt I'll do much more with Fable 2. I'd like to get the achievement for geting 50,000 renown points (I think I have 35,000 - 40,000 already) and "making a 2.5 million dollar empire" (which I guess means "buy every house in the game and rent it out"), and then I'll probably shelve it.

But I still can't shake the feeling my time and money would have been better spent downloading Fable: The Lost Chapters off the Xbox Live Arcade and going through it again and getting the achievements off that.

I read up on GameFAQs there was a way to revive everyone who died in the construction of the Spire and still get your dog back, but it meant going online and buying some downloadable content that added an area with someone who will give me my dog back if I bring him a human sacrifice. Well, I sacrificed my dog to save a couple thousand people, I'm not going to be too bothered by sacrificing one person to get my dog back. Unforunately it means installing the system update, but hopefully I'll get used to it or there's a way to put it back to the blades and it won't blow up the system.

My memory card backup hadn't been updated since before I got to Wraithmarsh. Eh, only took me two hours to rebeat the game.

Maybe while I'm at it I'll download Fable 1, which would mean the third time I've paid for that game.

What I meant was, if the update has an option to go back to the original setup. I guess it sort of does, you press the center button and it goes to a lobotomized version of the blades.

And apparently the Fable Xbox Original you can download isn't Lost Chapters. Forget that, then.

And my Gamercard page is missing my data for everything between Condemned and Fable 2, i.e. PREY, LEGO Indiana Jones, and Mirror's Edge.

EDIT: Oh, wait, they're there, just at the bottom of the page.