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I've just come to a sudden realization about how the videogame media works.

The thing about Rygar: The Legendary Adventure is that it was never a good game. People who played it (me included) only gave it a lukewarm reception at the best. But of course, all the media was completely ga-ga for it when it first came out.

This whole "now it's outdated and was only good for its time" mentality is just an excuse for the media to rate everything as high and positively as possible when it's new, and to justify why they didn't give the game the score it deserved in the first place when it's re-reviewed or re-released somewhere down the line.

CLOUDBOND007 wrote:

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From what I've heard, I'm sure it's a lousy game that's now even worse from the new controls. But it could be the shittiest game of all time, and that review of it would still be hideous.

Oh, obviously. Was not arguing the contrary. The game reviewing media has the best scam running for itself. They can praise whatever they want, no matter how dishonestly (or crappily), because if they're ever forced to review the game again in a few years for whatever reason, they can chalk up the flaws they didn't point out in the first place to the game being outdated.


Going way back to this for a minute,

Another thing about the whistle in SMB3 is that even if you skip the maximum amount of the game as possible, it still takes about an half hour to beat the game. (Unless you're playing at a speed-run rate) That's about as long as ALL of Contra or a bunch of other action games.

True Story: I learned about the Warp Whistles before I ever even got a chance to play SMB3. Trying to avoid spoilers of that sort was sort of like that generation's version of avoiding the Harry Potter spoilers. Anyway, the first thing on my mind when I got that game was to find the Warp Whistles and go straight to the last level. Well, it took awhile before I was able to even get the Warp Whistles, because it's not like you can just do it right away. Then even after I finally able to secure two of them and warp right to World 8, I was met smack in the face with a brick wall of a world I couldn't complete because I hadn't mastered my skills in the rest of the game yet (or stocked up on items like P-Wings and Powerups).

So, yeah, you can skip a lot of the game, but you'd still have to do the ENTIRE World 8, which is harder than some entire games, like Super Mario Land and New Super Mario Bros.

Man, the thing that strikes me the most about IGN's reviews is that they describe in intricate, boring details all the mechanical aspects of the game, like this review of Gradius III for the Wii VC. Now, there's nothing as hilariously fucked-up as some of the shit from earlier in this topic, but the review basically follows the tried-and-true IGN method of dreadful game reviewing:

1. First paragraph - an irrelevant list of shooters that have come out on the Wii VC. I haven't looked. Are we treated to a longer version of this list each time a new shooter is released?

2.

It was adapted from an arcade release - an arcade release that was known for its unrelenting and near-maddening level of difficulty. It was so tough, so inhospitable to new players, that Konami actually pulled the coin-op unit in a factory recall shortly after its debut.

The SNES port retains that madness. It was toned down a bit, but just a bit, as Gradius III is still a true challenge.

I don't have hands-on experience with the actual arcade version (yet), but that's not what I've heard. I've heard the arcade version completely blows away the SNES in difficulty... not that it's only a slight step up. And I don't even think the SNES version on Hard is all that hard. The only part that really counts is the floor/ceiling tiles part, and most of the times I can get through that without dying.

3. THREE whole paragraphs that describe the weapons and power-up systems. That's right. Three paragraphs on that alone. No mention of the bosses, the level design, the music, the secrets, anything else.

4. The closing paragraph feels it necessary to name-drop TWO more games, as if the first paragraph couldn't fit them in somehow.

5. The ratings box...

A detailed, theme-setting opening cinematic readies you for combat. The Vic Viper's never looked better.

Just to be fair, I can actually agree with that. That is a mind-blowing opening.

Gigantic, intricately detailed bosses, huge stages, massive bouncing bubbles. So much on screen that the action slows down - but that's a good thing.

Uh, what @ that last sentence there? Why is slowdown a good thing? This is why you can't spend a whole review talking about just the game's history and weapons system, and listing other games that are kinda, sorta similar. If slowdown somehow makes a game good, you NEED to explain WHY that is.

A frenetic, kinetic score that matches the pace of play perfectly. There was a Gradius III soundtrack CD released years ago. It's that good.

It's a great soundtrack, yes, but a LOT of games have gotten CD soundtracks released. Not all of them have been good. It doesn't prove anything.

Your weapons array can be customized in some huge factorial number of ways. And the classic Konami Code is included, of course.

Yeahhhhh, but it'll blow you up if you use it...and I'm not sure why that would be related to "lasting appeal" anyway. How about mentioning that it has more than one difficulty setting for replay value?