Well, 2002 is drawing it's last breath of that good old air and 2003 will promptly kick it in the knee and push it down a flight of stairs. The three factions of fanboydom have had an entire friggin' year to see if their obnoxious and stupid arguements were all "that" and "a bag of chips". Well, I browsed at the December issue of Game Informer, or was it the January? I can't remember, but they said that GTA:VC was the number one game of the entire span of existance, so I'm not sure what to think anymore. Time for my pointless and crazy ramblings that make a point in due time, and that point is that every fanboy on the internet is on a highway to Hell, which is good for those crazy mature-Goth guys, but bad for all people trying to avoid Hell. I think it was hot or cold or something, but my view of Hell is different from Dante's view, mainly because I'm not Italian or whatever he was. European, I think. Time to spectro-analysize each system:
X-Box
---------------------
Microsoft fanboys preached that they'd own the universe by the year 1923, and so far, their biggest claim to fame is the game of the year, Halo. And it has been, since 1776. Unfortunately, X-Boxers had only one other game to claim fame to, and that was Splinter Cell, a game that, last I heard, was a step down from Metal Gear Solid 2. Oh, and they got "X-Box Live", a great online service "in theory". See, it's purely a BROADBAND system, meaning that only the richest and most teched-out super non-AOLers have access to it. In addition, I think it was dominated by sports games.
2002 Synopsis: Slow, unproductive, and still heavily reliant on Halo.
Biggest Improvements: The smaller controllers. Damn, those old ones were huge. I prefer the new "S" size controllers over the old "DD" sized ones.
Worst Showing: SEGA. Two things about it. First, they got some pretty assed-up games, save Shenmue II or whatever it's spelt. Last I heard, Toejam and Earl got shafted.
2003 Prediction: If Halo II hits, it'll explode into even more fanboy ranting about how Halo is God's gift to gaming, and how the Halo series single-handedly turned Star Trek geeks into Christians overnight. What sect of Christians, I don't know, but I'm guessing it's probably Mormon, because they're hip right now.
Playstation 2
---------------------
PS2 got the head start on everybody on the fields, so they pretty much are number one for the next seventeen generations. Before, they were living off of Final Fantasy, but everyone got tired of Final Fantasy after they realized every FF game after VII had the exact same layout of "capitalism bad, nature and swords and Holy magic good", so they in turn made out with another game franchise, Grand Theft Auto. Unfortunately, the first few GTA games were just passing fancy, and weren't all that good. They were like Atari 2600 games made for the Atari 7600, only they were bad and only people that watch South Park because cursing is cool liked it. GTA3 broke so many records that Eminem became a god in the eyes of every non-religious non-rap guys. I think they were called mainstream, but they could have been closet goths. I just lost my train of thought. Anyhow, there aren't many fanboys of it, but those that are fanboys of it are still playing their "kiddy/mature" game, the oldest and most boring game in history.
2002 Synopsis: Good start with Final Fantasy X, rode the GTA3 train, GTA:VC ensured it's place in history, even though GTA:VC is almost the same as GTA3, only with a better soundtrack and a song by TOTO!!!
Biggest Improvements: Online capabilities better than X-Box's, mainly because it also caters to dial-up suckers like myself, but still, lack of any major online games make it not-so-neat.
Worst Showings: None really come to mind, but then again, they haven't improved much, either. Online doesn't count as much of an improvement. They're kind of on the "average" train.
2003 Predictions: Unless Nintendo or Microsoft can pull a rabbit out of their ass and kick Sony in the face, Sony will own the year 2003 yet again. I guess they'll live off another GTA game, or from what I'm hearing, they'll live off of another Final Fantasy game, mainly, X-2.
GameCube
---------------------
Out of the three, GCN impressed me the most. They used a lot of their big names to boost their sales, and I think it's safe to say they have the second-place slot secure, unless fanboys come over and rant off about specs and stats and Halo for another fifteen years. GameCube fanboys are still whiny about how they ain't "kiddy" or they have more "mature" stuff. Well, here's a bitter truth, and I think every fanboy in Internetland needs to hear it, because the next time I hear "kiddy" or "mature", I'm gonna start a group that'll rally against people who use stupid terms like "kiddy" and "mature". Last I checked, Nintendo is more inclined towards family-oriented/friendly marketing, and therefore are more likely to produce kid-friendly games. That's not a bad thing. They still have stuff inclined towards "mature" gamers, but in essense, they're marketing towards kids. Unfortunately, that results in the age-old "kiddy vs. mature" arguement that only single men in their 30s living in their parent's basement use when they have a mature allegiance with the 10-year old Goth kid that hates his parents and the 17-year old gang member that can afford video games for some reason despite his coke addiction. Meh.
2002 Synopsis: In terms of gaming QUALITY, not sales or other crap, they hit it big. Within the year, they released games that SHOULD have been there during the system's initial release. When fanboys said the system was gonna have big hits, 2002 was their year. The question is, can Nintendo keep it up...
Best Improvements: Nobody companies dishing out great games. Silicon Knights and Nintendo made "Eternal Darkness", a game that, while lacking the big cursing/swearing/bad-words aspect that giggling Jackass fans like, had not only copious amounts of blood and gore, but presented it in the most innovative of ways, meaning that they took a lot of the psychological horror/thriller movies I don't like and placed them in a game I did like. And Retro Studios did a great job on Metroid Prime as a whole. It's not a perfect game, and I wouldn't put it under my "top ten games of all time", but for the year in review, it ranks as one of the top ten games of the year.
Worst Showings: Poor advertising in general. Let's face it. Even if 99% of the teenagers in the universe hate capitalism and don't conform and all this other crap, they still listen to commercials and other advertisements. And Nintendo did some really poor campaigns throughout the year, which probably cost them some sales. Teenagers are a big market, and though they hate capitalism and money and trendiness, they LISTEN to commericals because they love communism. Or something.
2003 Predictions: I predicted AND expected very little from each system when 2002 started. GCN impressed me a lot, and the year was great for it. I'm looking at 2003 for each, and it's thinning out. The GCN gets Zelda early in the year, and afterwards, I don't know what to expect. I don't really see any big hits for the GCN after Zelda. Then again, if they start churning out a string of hits for the year, then I'll be damned, that's for sure. If next year I see a "Zelda - Mario Kart - F-Zero - Star Fox - Final Fantasy" kind of chain, I'd have to say they did it again. But I don't really see it happening all in the same year, so I don't know. Keep my hopes low, so I can be wowed by somebody.
That's it. I tried being analytical and unbiased, but apparently, I have a bias towards the GameCube. Maybe it's because I'm more inclined towards Nintendo, seeing as how the NES was my first system. Maybe it's because I'm a sissy and only like "immature kiddy crap". Maybe I just liked more of the games on the GCN than I did on the other two systems. Whatever the reason, my vote is still on the NES as the greatest system of all time. That or the Colecovision. That thing was boss!
X-Box
---------------------
Microsoft fanboys preached that they'd own the universe by the year 1923, and so far, their biggest claim to fame is the game of the year, Halo. And it has been, since 1776. Unfortunately, X-Boxers had only one other game to claim fame to, and that was Splinter Cell, a game that, last I heard, was a step down from Metal Gear Solid 2. Oh, and they got "X-Box Live", a great online service "in theory". See, it's purely a BROADBAND system, meaning that only the richest and most teched-out super non-AOLers have access to it. In addition, I think it was dominated by sports games.
2002 Synopsis: Slow, unproductive, and still heavily reliant on Halo.
Biggest Improvements: The smaller controllers. Damn, those old ones were huge. I prefer the new "S" size controllers over the old "DD" sized ones.
Worst Showing: SEGA. Two things about it. First, they got some pretty assed-up games, save Shenmue II or whatever it's spelt. Last I heard, Toejam and Earl got shafted.
2003 Prediction: If Halo II hits, it'll explode into even more fanboy ranting about how Halo is God's gift to gaming, and how the Halo series single-handedly turned Star Trek geeks into Christians overnight. What sect of Christians, I don't know, but I'm guessing it's probably Mormon, because they're hip right now.
Playstation 2
---------------------
PS2 got the head start on everybody on the fields, so they pretty much are number one for the next seventeen generations. Before, they were living off of Final Fantasy, but everyone got tired of Final Fantasy after they realized every FF game after VII had the exact same layout of "capitalism bad, nature and swords and Holy magic good", so they in turn made out with another game franchise, Grand Theft Auto. Unfortunately, the first few GTA games were just passing fancy, and weren't all that good. They were like Atari 2600 games made for the Atari 7600, only they were bad and only people that watch South Park because cursing is cool liked it. GTA3 broke so many records that Eminem became a god in the eyes of every non-religious non-rap guys. I think they were called mainstream, but they could have been closet goths. I just lost my train of thought. Anyhow, there aren't many fanboys of it, but those that are fanboys of it are still playing their "kiddy/mature" game, the oldest and most boring game in history.
2002 Synopsis: Good start with Final Fantasy X, rode the GTA3 train, GTA:VC ensured it's place in history, even though GTA:VC is almost the same as GTA3, only with a better soundtrack and a song by TOTO!!!
Biggest Improvements: Online capabilities better than X-Box's, mainly because it also caters to dial-up suckers like myself, but still, lack of any major online games make it not-so-neat.
Worst Showings: None really come to mind, but then again, they haven't improved much, either. Online doesn't count as much of an improvement. They're kind of on the "average" train.
2003 Predictions: Unless Nintendo or Microsoft can pull a rabbit out of their ass and kick Sony in the face, Sony will own the year 2003 yet again. I guess they'll live off another GTA game, or from what I'm hearing, they'll live off of another Final Fantasy game, mainly, X-2.
GameCube
---------------------
Out of the three, GCN impressed me the most. They used a lot of their big names to boost their sales, and I think it's safe to say they have the second-place slot secure, unless fanboys come over and rant off about specs and stats and Halo for another fifteen years. GameCube fanboys are still whiny about how they ain't "kiddy" or they have more "mature" stuff. Well, here's a bitter truth, and I think every fanboy in Internetland needs to hear it, because the next time I hear "kiddy" or "mature", I'm gonna start a group that'll rally against people who use stupid terms like "kiddy" and "mature". Last I checked, Nintendo is more inclined towards family-oriented/friendly marketing, and therefore are more likely to produce kid-friendly games. That's not a bad thing. They still have stuff inclined towards "mature" gamers, but in essense, they're marketing towards kids. Unfortunately, that results in the age-old "kiddy vs. mature" arguement that only single men in their 30s living in their parent's basement use when they have a mature allegiance with the 10-year old Goth kid that hates his parents and the 17-year old gang member that can afford video games for some reason despite his coke addiction. Meh.
2002 Synopsis: In terms of gaming QUALITY, not sales or other crap, they hit it big. Within the year, they released games that SHOULD have been there during the system's initial release. When fanboys said the system was gonna have big hits, 2002 was their year. The question is, can Nintendo keep it up...
Best Improvements: Nobody companies dishing out great games. Silicon Knights and Nintendo made "Eternal Darkness", a game that, while lacking the big cursing/swearing/bad-words aspect that giggling Jackass fans like, had not only copious amounts of blood and gore, but presented it in the most innovative of ways, meaning that they took a lot of the psychological horror/thriller movies I don't like and placed them in a game I did like. And Retro Studios did a great job on Metroid Prime as a whole. It's not a perfect game, and I wouldn't put it under my "top ten games of all time", but for the year in review, it ranks as one of the top ten games of the year.
Worst Showings: Poor advertising in general. Let's face it. Even if 99% of the teenagers in the universe hate capitalism and don't conform and all this other crap, they still listen to commercials and other advertisements. And Nintendo did some really poor campaigns throughout the year, which probably cost them some sales. Teenagers are a big market, and though they hate capitalism and money and trendiness, they LISTEN to commericals because they love communism. Or something.
2003 Predictions: I predicted AND expected very little from each system when 2002 started. GCN impressed me a lot, and the year was great for it. I'm looking at 2003 for each, and it's thinning out. The GCN gets Zelda early in the year, and afterwards, I don't know what to expect. I don't really see any big hits for the GCN after Zelda. Then again, if they start churning out a string of hits for the year, then I'll be damned, that's for sure. If next year I see a "Zelda - Mario Kart - F-Zero - Star Fox - Final Fantasy" kind of chain, I'd have to say they did it again. But I don't really see it happening all in the same year, so I don't know. Keep my hopes low, so I can be wowed by somebody.
That's it. I tried being analytical and unbiased, but apparently, I have a bias towards the GameCube. Maybe it's because I'm more inclined towards Nintendo, seeing as how the NES was my first system. Maybe it's because I'm a sissy and only like "immature kiddy crap". Maybe I just liked more of the games on the GCN than I did on the other two systems. Whatever the reason, my vote is still on the NES as the greatest system of all time. That or the Colecovision. That thing was boss!
