Wow. What a turd.
First off, let me explain my position least I run too far into a tangent before we get to the core of this topic. I NEVER was a fan of Final Fantasy VII. I thought it was overrated, cliched, and tedious, and toooooooooo easy. I actually bought my first playstation JUST to get that game and I was completly dissapointed.
Now that being said I know I'm in the minority, the game was a smash hit. I believe it was because it catered to "the lowest common denominator", meaning it was shiney and pretty and most people like shiney and pretty. It had overused comfortable archetype characters. Sephiroth is nothing original.He comes in, says a few nonsense lines kills people and leaves. WOW. that's been used soooo many times it's nauseating. Brooding Woe is me Cloud. Mysterious past. Crys because he feels he can't help the people he loves the most. that character is cookie cutter crap, yet people bought it. people haved liked that stuff before and they'll like it again. I'm not trying to tell you that the Cloud and Sephiroth types haven't been used since, it's just that the FF7 fan base thinks that they're so originally cool. They're not. I don't think FF7 is one of the worst games ever made, I just think it's a thoroughly average. AVERAGE. not great not bad, just there.
Now we come to this movie. Visually , I don't think I could ask for anthing more. great job. it is a spectical to behold that's for sure. but...............That's about it. This story is garbage. I've never seen a movie cater to fanboys like this before. it crams every nerdy fanboys dream into this movie, and that's a bad thing, and I'll tell you why. fanboys have a problem of thinking that some minor plot point, character, or sequence should be the main selling point of the game or movie etc.. etc.. the richness of the story or characters besides their favorite thing doesn't count to them, only their favorite thing.. Here's a practical example of what i'm talking about useing a ff7 character:
Fanboy: Yuffie is my favorite Character
Me: yeah, I liked her, she was pretty cool.
Fanboy:Pretty cool? She was the best!
Me: how so?
Fanboy: well I liked her design and weapon, and her personality was great.
Me: I guess.
Fanboy: You guess?!! They should have had more story to deal with her.
Me: wait a minute, are you saying your favorite character barely had any story? that their "great personality" was barely even flushed out?
Fanboy: Shut up! She was cool.
Me: yeah, she was cool to look at, but the story would have gotten slowed down if they put more of her in it. She wasn't the main focus.
Fanboy: they should have put more of her in it!
Me: Why?
Fanboy: They should have!
Me: shut up fanboy.
Fanboys also have a bad tendency to get a boner everytime their favorite character is mentioned or seen. Even if it's for no reason, and even if it slows down (slows down means adding pointless padding to a story) and hurts the overall vision.
FF7: Advent children, as I said, is a fanboy dream.... and utter poop.
The story focuses on a brooding Cloud who STILL thinks he's not strong enough to help the people he loves most. Enter Effeminate Giggling Bad Guys. E.G.B's always ask questions to the main hero or heroes that said heroes couldn't possibly understand, in this case the quest to find "mother". "where's Mother""what have you done with Mother'"mother mother mother". This gets old real quick. The worst part is you KNOW that they know that the main character has no clue what they're talking about, yet the keep asking anyway. "Mother" turns out to be Jenova's head, something they can use to revive sephiroth. Why it took two years to decide they want to do this? I don't know, but, two years it is. Anyway, a couple of useless battles, a couple hundred giggles later, we come to the big fight with bahamut. Now, remember, most of the characters from the original ff7 haven't really been in this movie up to this point. As a matter of fact putting them in the movie 3/4's of the way through would be soooo dumb........Oh God here they are. You can here fanboy's pants around the globe fill with poop. YEAH there's Yuffie! or YEAH there's Red XIII and Cait Sith! or YEAH it really makes no sense why they're there, but ther're in the movie and that's all that counts. It actually does matter as it makes the entire sequence look forced and silly. You know that fight scene thing where a hero is about to get hit by something they can't avoid, and some off screen hero saves them by pushing them out of the way or pushing the thing that's going to hit them out of the way? it's cool if it happens once. It happens at least five times in the same fight scene in this movie, usually just to introduce a new character on the scene. it's so forced you want to turn it off right there. They're eventually in a buddy buddy moment where they all help Cloud get thrown into the air high enough to attack bahamut, offering words of hope and love along the way. how quaint. Cloud finally realizes he has his friends who love him to help him and he gathers strength from that knowledge. Which he's done before, but magically forgot, and has been done countless times before in countless different sappy anime movies and tv shows. I HATE That COP-OUT. and that's what it is, a ready made story which they didn't have to think too hard on. NOW comes the fanboy jizz moment, the revival of ol Sephiroth. Seph is treated the same way here as he was in the game, barely in it, and barely a factor.
"I'm Sephiroth and I'll destroy the world"
"NO!"
"let's fight"
(fight scene where cloud seems defeated)
"I have almost beaten you Cloud! how is it that you still get up?"
"I have the power of love! something you'll never understand!"
(Seph loses)
"I'll be back! muhahaha"
Above I have just described the last fight scene in the movie...and about 1000 different fight scenes we've all seen before. Pathetic. in an attempt to cater to fanboys Square Enix decided that the movie itself wasn't important, but how much shiney, pretty, and popular they could cram in was. Seph is in this movie for about 3 minutes, but fanboys will rejoice at seeing such a "awesome" bad guy again.
To say this movie lacked originality isn't entirely true.To say it lacked a point is. They could have really expanded the ff7 universe with this movie if they actually cared to, but instead, they decided to make an extended 2 hour fight scene that they knew story wise was crap, but fanboys would love based on it's non-merits.
don't buy this movie. it is a hunk of junk.
First off, let me explain my position least I run too far into a tangent before we get to the core of this topic. I NEVER was a fan of Final Fantasy VII. I thought it was overrated, cliched, and tedious, and toooooooooo easy. I actually bought my first playstation JUST to get that game and I was completly dissapointed.
Now that being said I know I'm in the minority, the game was a smash hit. I believe it was because it catered to "the lowest common denominator", meaning it was shiney and pretty and most people like shiney and pretty. It had overused comfortable archetype characters. Sephiroth is nothing original.He comes in, says a few nonsense lines kills people and leaves. WOW. that's been used soooo many times it's nauseating. Brooding Woe is me Cloud. Mysterious past. Crys because he feels he can't help the people he loves the most. that character is cookie cutter crap, yet people bought it. people haved liked that stuff before and they'll like it again. I'm not trying to tell you that the Cloud and Sephiroth types haven't been used since, it's just that the FF7 fan base thinks that they're so originally cool. They're not. I don't think FF7 is one of the worst games ever made, I just think it's a thoroughly average. AVERAGE. not great not bad, just there.
Now we come to this movie. Visually , I don't think I could ask for anthing more. great job. it is a spectical to behold that's for sure. but...............That's about it. This story is garbage. I've never seen a movie cater to fanboys like this before. it crams every nerdy fanboys dream into this movie, and that's a bad thing, and I'll tell you why. fanboys have a problem of thinking that some minor plot point, character, or sequence should be the main selling point of the game or movie etc.. etc.. the richness of the story or characters besides their favorite thing doesn't count to them, only their favorite thing.. Here's a practical example of what i'm talking about useing a ff7 character:
Fanboy: Yuffie is my favorite Character
Me: yeah, I liked her, she was pretty cool.
Fanboy:Pretty cool? She was the best!
Me: how so?
Fanboy: well I liked her design and weapon, and her personality was great.
Me: I guess.
Fanboy: You guess?!! They should have had more story to deal with her.
Me: wait a minute, are you saying your favorite character barely had any story? that their "great personality" was barely even flushed out?
Fanboy: Shut up! She was cool.
Me: yeah, she was cool to look at, but the story would have gotten slowed down if they put more of her in it. She wasn't the main focus.
Fanboy: they should have put more of her in it!
Me: Why?
Fanboy: They should have!
Me: shut up fanboy.
Fanboys also have a bad tendency to get a boner everytime their favorite character is mentioned or seen. Even if it's for no reason, and even if it slows down (slows down means adding pointless padding to a story) and hurts the overall vision.
FF7: Advent children, as I said, is a fanboy dream.... and utter poop.
The story focuses on a brooding Cloud who STILL thinks he's not strong enough to help the people he loves most. Enter Effeminate Giggling Bad Guys. E.G.B's always ask questions to the main hero or heroes that said heroes couldn't possibly understand, in this case the quest to find "mother". "where's Mother""what have you done with Mother'"mother mother mother". This gets old real quick. The worst part is you KNOW that they know that the main character has no clue what they're talking about, yet the keep asking anyway. "Mother" turns out to be Jenova's head, something they can use to revive sephiroth. Why it took two years to decide they want to do this? I don't know, but, two years it is. Anyway, a couple of useless battles, a couple hundred giggles later, we come to the big fight with bahamut. Now, remember, most of the characters from the original ff7 haven't really been in this movie up to this point. As a matter of fact putting them in the movie 3/4's of the way through would be soooo dumb........Oh God here they are. You can here fanboy's pants around the globe fill with poop. YEAH there's Yuffie! or YEAH there's Red XIII and Cait Sith! or YEAH it really makes no sense why they're there, but ther're in the movie and that's all that counts. It actually does matter as it makes the entire sequence look forced and silly. You know that fight scene thing where a hero is about to get hit by something they can't avoid, and some off screen hero saves them by pushing them out of the way or pushing the thing that's going to hit them out of the way? it's cool if it happens once. It happens at least five times in the same fight scene in this movie, usually just to introduce a new character on the scene. it's so forced you want to turn it off right there. They're eventually in a buddy buddy moment where they all help Cloud get thrown into the air high enough to attack bahamut, offering words of hope and love along the way. how quaint. Cloud finally realizes he has his friends who love him to help him and he gathers strength from that knowledge. Which he's done before, but magically forgot, and has been done countless times before in countless different sappy anime movies and tv shows. I HATE That COP-OUT. and that's what it is, a ready made story which they didn't have to think too hard on. NOW comes the fanboy jizz moment, the revival of ol Sephiroth. Seph is treated the same way here as he was in the game, barely in it, and barely a factor.
"I'm Sephiroth and I'll destroy the world"
"NO!"
"let's fight"
(fight scene where cloud seems defeated)
"I have almost beaten you Cloud! how is it that you still get up?"
"I have the power of love! something you'll never understand!"
(Seph loses)
"I'll be back! muhahaha"
Above I have just described the last fight scene in the movie...and about 1000 different fight scenes we've all seen before. Pathetic. in an attempt to cater to fanboys Square Enix decided that the movie itself wasn't important, but how much shiney, pretty, and popular they could cram in was. Seph is in this movie for about 3 minutes, but fanboys will rejoice at seeing such a "awesome" bad guy again.
To say this movie lacked originality isn't entirely true.To say it lacked a point is. They could have really expanded the ff7 universe with this movie if they actually cared to, but instead, they decided to make an extended 2 hour fight scene that they knew story wise was crap, but fanboys would love based on it's non-merits.
don't buy this movie. it is a hunk of junk.
