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 CRAWLand1000 |
Re: Single Fucked Up Lines | |||||
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Posts: 3590 (09/05/06 12:34 PM) The Fuzzy
Physicist |
Yeah, it's just the same old shit it's been for years, pretty much since game reviews and the internet went mainstream (if not even before that). It still never fails to annoy me, though.
"Without a foothold in the past, we cannot walk towards the future." -Vagrant Story |
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TaroSH |
Re: Single Fucked Up Lines | |||||
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Posts: 2952 (09/05/06 1:14 PM) I Ain't Afraid of No Ghost |
I thought Goldeneye sucked because you can't drive a jeep.
Crap like that is why I didn't bother to renew my subscription to GameInformer, and it was hilarious that their "Sacred Cow Roast" thing actually had more accurate reviews of Katamari Damacy and a couple other games than their "serious" ones. Speaking of stupid reasons to hate something, when they reviewed Tao's Adventure, they gave it a 2. I'm not sure I'd give it a 2, but Tao's Adventure does seem like it kind of sucks; it makes you touch words on the Touch Screen to make selections (Search, Talk, Attack, etc). Your monster AI is horrible, and there doesn't seem to be any way to "command" them like in Azure Dreams. You don't lose your levels when you leave the tower (I bet this comes from you doing most of the fighting since your monsters are so worthless). Petcho makes you leave the tower after every floor to go do some plot stuff. When you leave the tower, you can just warp right back to the floor you were on. Instead, GameInformer complained about "it takes several hours to get to the tower" (uh, no it doesn't. It takes twenty minutes at most) and the controls (which work just like Azure Dreams). |
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 Crawl and 1OOO |
Re: Single Fucked Up Lines | |||||
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Posts: 15594 (09/05/06 11:35 PM) Administrator |
I looked around the web regarding that Sacred Cow Roast thing. I don't see it as making many people happy.
Some people were outraged that GI could say Halo (or one of te other games) had flaws, and they were about to cancel their subscription. The other side said that GI should have said those things in their reviews to begin with. I'd mostly lean towards that position, but even that just isn't strong enough. First, I'm wondering, gee, might they be ripping off something like FO's overrated games article? Even if it's not a deliberate rip off, they're still trailing the amature community. Second, is this article serious or not? This "roast" angle basically lets them have their cake and eat it, too: They can bring up some flaws to some games, and act like they're really independent, but at the same time say they're just joking. It's just another way for them to equivocate. And if it is a joke, this is a really serious problem, because then the article is saying, "Yeah, we are totally aware of these flaws. But if a popular game has flaws, to name them is to excuse them!" It's like when they said, "Some people will say that Wind Waker has too much sailing. We're here to tell them they are wrong." There's no rebuttal. It's like they're saying, "Yeah, why do people keep mentioning how much sailing Wind Waker has? Get some new complaints! You're becoming predictable!" Yeah, but the reason some complaints are brought up repeatedly is because of how valid they are -- and because they've never really been refuted. Another way of looking at this article, as a joke, is that they're saying, "Yeah, we know these games may have flaws. But so do all games! Lighten up! On both sides! Lovers, chill out and realize your favorite may be your favorite without being perfect. Haters, realize that YOUR favorite games could have holes picked in them, too." This is another way of trivializing flaws. Applied to Halo, for instance, it might be saying, "Yeah, so Halo's level design is a little repetitive? So what?" But that's not a minor flaw, it's a BIG flaw -- and no, that's not the kind of flaw that is common in games, even good ones. The only other example of a game I can think of with such blatant "cut and paste" level design is Ikari Warriors on the NES. Their "roast" of Ocarina of Time was sort of funny (The hero that looks like Sandy Duncan, whose best friend is a pony, and who plays the flute) They still seem behind the amature community, considering how long ago it was when I posted this "fan review" of Ocarina of Time: Quote: There are other things my little review has over the GI thing. -That I'm using those things to PRAISE the game adds an extra layer of irony. -The review isn't really satirizing Link or Ocarina of Time. The real target, which is much more subtle, is the notion that these sorts of things are appropriate ways of judging games. In particular, no one has used it to build a very consistent standard. When I see people say ALttP sucks compared to OoT because Link in the former isn't as badass as in the latter (where he does a WILD TAKE just because he sees Ganon [about whom, at the time, he knows nothing], or is freaked out by a blooming flower), it's like, what do you think "badass" means? |
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CLOUDBOND007 |
Re: Single Fucked Up Lines | |||||
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Posts: 12352 (09/20/06 7:36 PM) Lunitari Mage |
planetgamecube.com/review...rtid=12119
Quote: I figure a lot of people will have a problem with his complaining about the difficulty. BTW, he eventually goes on to say that it's the bosses that make it hard, I just thought cutting the quote off there made it funnier. |
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Crawl and 1OOO |
Re: Single Fucked Up Lines | |||||
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Posts: 15594 (09/20/06 8:45 PM) Administrator |
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Magical Yard Gnome |
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Posts: 2273 (09/21/06 3:32 PM) Heavy Metal Chainsaw |
Quote: I've seen this one several times, and it's especially dumb since polish is exactly what Wind Waker DOESN'T have. Unless you think polish means things like removing whole dungeons from the game to get it out faster or making the game artificially long with too much sailing. Caution children! Happy ice cream dancing for you!
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pOrn Sigma |
Re: Single Fucked Up Lines | |||||
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Posts: 947 (09/24/06 4:20 PM) Sexy Thang |
I know this is for fucked up lines in publications rather than fucked up lines in arguements, but this one I just have to share with you all:
Quote: Quote: Quote:Even if it was, what, you're saying it's sane to pay $1000 for it? (Okay, I looked it up, and that cartridge doesn't even contain Duck Hunt. It's SMB, Rad Racer II, and Tetris. This still stands.)  It's time for revenge... |
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Crawl and 1OOO |
Re: Single Fucked Up Lines | |||||
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Posts: 15594 (09/25/06 1:32 AM) Administrator |
No one that wants the Nintendo World Championship cart wants it so they can play SMB, Rad Racer II, and / or Tetris.
They want it because it's a rare and physical piece of videogaming history. Even if the ROM of it was on the Wii, it would probably have no effect on the desirability of the actual thing. The idea of a $1000 NES game seems to me bizarre. I don't think there is ANY game that a person would want to PLAY (as opposed to collect, like the NWC thing) that is anywhere close to that. There are few games, period, that go for $1000. Radiant Silvergun, Panzer Dragoon Saga, and Dracula X are commonly named as expensive games, but they are much closer to $100 than they are to $1000. I haven't followed prices lately, but a few years ago Tengen Tetris was in the $100 dollar range. That's still much less than $1000. And even back then, if you just wanted to play it, you could have emulated it. Again, some people want the physical cart because it's an interesting piece of videogame history. The Wii's virtual console would have zero effect on that. Even $100 NES games are the exception. Unlicensed games are not inherently expensive; FO has many unlicensed games (nothing by Panesian, though, as far as I know) and I'm pretty sure she got them all cheap. I'd guess 95+% of NES games go for less than $25. The only well-known (ie., that I can think of off the top of my head) and licensed NES games to be in the $40 range are a few RPGs, like Final Fantasy and some Dragon Warrior games. For the most part, even $20 is expensive for an NES game, and hard to justify. I thought Funco's $20 price tag for Contra was excessive (I got it for less on ebay). |
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Flying Omelette |
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Quote: Yeah. As I said earlier, just Google search "zelda wind waker polish" and it'll pull up dozens of reviews. And none of them really define what they mean by that. It's like they hijacked the word and turned it into the video game review version of a "macguffin". That was another thing that lends proof to my theory that a lot of game reviewers only say things in reviews because they heard it elsewhere and feel they have to repeat it to make it seem like they know what they're talking about. Also note all the reviews of Killer7 that wrangle with whether it's "art" or not. If they weren't so obsessed with trying to convince themselves one way or the other, maybe they'd realize it's no more or less art than any other game.
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pOrn Sigma |
Re: Single Fucked Up Lines | |||||
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Posts: 947 (10/05/06 7:28 PM) Sexy Thang |
I think the thing with "only some video games are art" (and heck I've even seen people go against an idea that's pretty deeply rooted in society and say only some movies are art) is people only think of pretty pictures when they think of art, so that means only games with emphasis on their graphics are art.
You know, like how Shadow of the Colossus is art because you're supposed to wander around and look at the pretty *cough*dull*cough* landscape, while Shinobi isn't art because the game is kind of ugly and it's more about fighting than looking at stuff. [Digression: Okay, I haven't played SotC, only watched a movie and seen several screen caps, but from what I've seen I'd actually say Shinobi is better looking because of the beautiful animation, details like the sakura petals fluttering around in 7-A, and it doesn't look like your TV/computer monitor is covered in dust.] Nah, art isn't about being able to either create something with your imagination and brain, or walk away from something knowing you've had an experience, be it inspiring, enjoyable, ho-hum, or regrettable. It's about making and looking at pretty stuff. It's time for revenge... |
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CLOUDBOND007 |
Re: Single Fucked Up Lines | |||||
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Posts: 12352 (10/08/06 11:34 PM) Lunitari Mage |
cube.ign.com/articles/584/584886p1.html
Quote: |
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Crawl and 1OOO |
Re: Single Fucked Up Lines | |||||
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Posts: 15594 (10/08/06 11:56 PM) Administrator |
Here's a really old quote rebutting something similar that was said in EGM:
Quote: |
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CLOUDBOND007 |
Re: Single Fucked Up Lines | |||||
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Posts: 12352 (10/11/06 1:50 AM) Lunitari Mage |
Wasn't sure what thread for this one.
www.gamesarefun.com/games...viewid=529 It's an import review of Final Fantasy 12. I love how he spends multiple consecutive paragraphs on things he's not happy with and then gives it a perfect score. |
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Facilitypro |
Greg Kasavin reviews Castlevanias. | |||||
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Posts: 2490 (10/28/06 5:40 PM) Slow Daddy |
Quote: Quote: These lines are pretty bad but not terrible. They're readable, but not good. They're wishy washy, but they're not TOO wishy washy, either. Greg Kasavin's reviews piss me off. They're not horrible, but they're nothing good. However, they're not really bad enough to be considered the worst reviews ever except for his Castlevania reviews which are pretty bad. |
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Facilitypro |
Re: Single Fucked Up Lines | |||||
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Posts: 2490 (11/05/06 1:59 AM) Slow Daddy |
From IGN's review of GTA: Liberty City Stories:
Quote: Well these professional reviews keep getting better and better. First, clipping errors make a game fun. Now a game that's mediocre can get a 9/10 because of its name. We all know that's nothing new; lots of games have gotten undeserving high marks because of their lineage. But it's finally gotten to the point where reviewers aren't even trying to hide it. |
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CLOUDBOND007 |
Re: Single Fucked Up Lines | |||||
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Posts: 12352 (11/06/06 3:50 PM) Lunitari Mage |
planetgamecube.com/mailba...rtid=12352
Not a review, it's from the Planet Gamecube mailbag, about whether to play the Zelda games in the order they were released. Quote: When I read something like that, I find it hard to believe we were playing the same games. There was also this annoying bragging: Quote: |
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Crawl and 1OOO |
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Posts: 15594 (11/07/06 1:14 AM) Administrator |
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KazuoSH |
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Posts: 904 (11/12/06 7:49 PM) The Burninator |
On Yoshi's Story:
Quote: |
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Flying Omelette |
Re: Single Fucked Up Lines | |||||
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Yeah, a $60 Dr. Seuss book. And since Yoshi's Story was touted as a direct sequel to Yoshi's Island, not as a "baby game", there was no reason for anyone to expect it would be as short, insipid, and easy as it was.
I don't understand the point of arguments like that. It's like they're admitting the truth while trying not to admit it.
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KazuoSH |
Re: Single Fucked Up Lines | |||||
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Posts: 904 (11/13/06 2:03 AM) The Burninator |
Another thing about that is, if Yoshi's Story is a good game because it was only made for a certain audience, then every game is a good game.
I'm reminded of that line in Crawl's Rescue Rangers book about how if something is only good for children and not adults, it's tantamount to saying something is bad. |
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