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"The Rose" - I hate this story

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Kitsunexus

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Posts: 106

(05/11/08 1:42 PM)

Banned User

I hate J-POP. If you look at my profile, most of my favorite artists are European techno groups and demoscene artists.

Crawl and 1OOO

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Posts: 11439

(05/11/08 6:27 PM)

The Fuzzy Physicist
Administrator

Great, replace "because it came from Japan" with "because it's techno".

See how your opinion ruined Christmas for everyone!

MaskedSheik

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Posts: 431

(05/11/08 11:51 PM)

She concluded her speech by courageously singing 'The Rose.'

She actually sang it in a really cowardly fashion. I was there, I know what happened.

Over two thousand college students attended her funeral in tribute to the wonderful woman who taught by example that it's never too late to be all you can possibly be.

Yeah. Sure kid. You drank beer, hit on college kids and played fucking dress-up.

I think it would be cathartic for me to save this story and write a scathing line-by-line commentary when I'm in a bad mood.

Kitsunexus

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Posts: 106

(05/12/08 3:55 AM)

Banned User

The first day of school our professor introduced himself and challenged us to get to know someone we didn't already know. I stood up to look around when a gentle tentacle caressed my leg.

I turned around to find a gigantic plant-like lifeform made up of rope like vines that twisted in every direction.

He said, "SKREEEEE! SKREEEEE! SKREEEE-EEEEE-SKREEEEE!"

I laughed and enthusiastically responded, 'Of course you may!' and he gave me a giant yiff in the butthole.

'Why are you master of all the ways of sexual pleasure?' I asked.

He jokingly replied, '"SKREEEEE! SKREEEEE! SKREEEE-EEEEE-SKREEEEE!"

'No seriously,' I asked. I was curious what may have motivated him to be taking on this challenge at his age.

'"SKREEEEE! SKREEEEE! SKREEEE-EEEEE-SKREEEEE!"!' he told me.

After class we walked to the student union building and shared a fertilizer milkshake.

We became instant friends. Every day for the next three months we would leave class together and talk non-stop. I was always mesmerized listening to this 'tentacle kaiju' as he shared his hot dripping tentacle sauce with me.

Over the course of the year, Skree became a campus icon and he easily obtained restraining orders wherever he went. He loved to dress up in Japanese schoolgirl uniforms and he reveled in the attention bestowed upon him from the other students. He was living it up..

At the end of the semester we invited Skree to speak at our football banquet. I'll never forget what he taught us. He was introduced and stepped up to the podium. As he began to deliver his prepared speech, se dropped his three by five cards on the floor.

Frustrated and a little embarrassed he leaned into the microphone and simply said, "FUCK YOU ALL I AM THE SPAWN OF SATAN AND ALL OF YOU WILL DIE! SKREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!"

As we paniced and tried to run for our lives he cleared his throat and began to rip peoples stomachs out through their anus, impale heads into the wall of the auditorium, and beat people to death with his huge tentacles.

"YOU ARE ALL DEAD AND YOU DON'T EVEN KNOW IT!"

He concluded his speech by courageously singing 'Karma Chameleon'.

He challenged each of us to study the lyrics because if we did not pass the test, we would all be forcibly raped.

Nobody left a virgin.

One week after graduation Skree had a tangle with the US Air Force and exploded all over Nebraska.

Over two thousand college students attended rape crisis counseling and praying to their respected deities that this would never happen again.

But my ass feels lonelier now.

THE END

Last Edited By: Kitsunexus 05/12/08 3:58 AM. Edited 1 times.

Magnus CROWE

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Posts: 881

(05/12/08 12:57 PM)

Snooze Alarm

Didn't we discuss that story once before? I think I remember saying I hated it, too, though I suppose it's possible I said it in my mind and didn't actually post it. And I also thought that was the motivation behind using "The Rose" in that one RAU sketch where the overlord threatens to end the series by blowing it off the server with tornadoes.

Keep away from people who try to belittle your ambitions. Small people always do that, but the really great make you feel that you, too, can become great. - Mark Twain

Flying Omelette

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Posts: 17766

(05/12/08 11:26 PM)

Frickin' Fred Durst on Stilts

It might have been mentioned a long time ago somewhere between 2001-2002 because when we went to Crawl's mother's college graduation, there was some author who was invited to speak at the ceremony. He claimed he wrote the story, that it was true, and that he knew "Rose". I was already very familiar with the story from all the times I came across it on the internet. And while it's possible that he could very well have been the original author of the story, I somehow doubt it considering that he claimed it was true.

So, it's pretty bad that an "author" rips off a story that someone probably sent him in an email, but it's also pretty bad that if it really was his, it's not a very good story.

And I also thought that was the motivation behind using "The Rose" in that one RAU sketch where the overlord threatens to end the series by blowing it off the server with tornadoes.

HA HA HA HA HA!! Would you believe I totally forgot about that until you mentioned it? That's the second time I've forgotten something from that sketch, I also forgot that FatShnoo made a cameo in it when it was mentioned on DHN.

Actually, what inspired that were the "lyrics topics" at DHN. A long time ago, there was a fad there where someone would post 1~2 lines of a song, and then someone else would reply with the next line or two. One of them was "The Rose". (This was actually originally attempted at the Game Pond, but it was ruined by a certain user who would always post the next lines and get the lyrics completely wrong. And when people would respond and tell him his lyrics were wrong and that he should look them up if he's not sure of them before posting, he would just post the entire rest of the song, with incorrect lyrics throughout.)

I think it would be cathartic for me to save this story and write a scathing line-by-line commentary when I'm in a bad mood.

Someone in that Snopes topic did a pretty good line-by-line rewrite.

Think of what you're saying,
You can get it wrong
And still you think that it's all right.
Think of what I'm saying,
We can work it out
And get it straight or say good night.

There is a house in New Orleans
They call the Rising Sun
And it's been the ruin of many a poor boy
And God, I know I'm one

TWEETER911

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Posts: 4905

(05/12/08 11:37 PM)

Phantom King

Forgot 2,000. I hope over 2 people visit my funeral.

"I flew into the wild and fire. I danced and died a thousand times."

CLOUDBOND007

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Posts: 10510

(05/13/08 12:03 AM)

Lunitari Mage
Moderator

I want cremation with no funeral services. If anybody cared enough about me to want to spread the ashes somewhere interesting, that's cool.

CB007's Review & GPT Archive
CB007's Gaming BBS

Kitsunexus

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Posts: 106

(05/13/08 3:28 AM)

Banned User

I will not die. I win.

Crawl and 1OOO

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Posts: 11439

(05/13/08 8:49 AM)

The Fuzzy Physicist
Administrator

The guy that gave the speech was the "Chicken Soup for the Soul" guy. I don't remember him claiming to have written that particular story, but in general, he doesn't claim to write the stories in those books; he compiles them.

See how your opinion ruined Christmas for everyone!

Flying Omelette

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Posts: 17766

(05/13/08 10:02 PM)

Frickin' Fred Durst on Stilts

What I remember happening after we left the ceremony is that I told you I've heard that story on the internet. It's an urban legend.

Then you said that he claimed it was true and that he said he was the person in the story who knew "Rose". I don't personally remember him saying that part of it because I was zoning off during that whole procedure and it was only the familiarity of the story that woke me up.

Think of what you're saying,
You can get it wrong
And still you think that it's all right.
Think of what I'm saying,
We can work it out
And get it straight or say good night.

There is a house in New Orleans
They call the Rising Sun
And it's been the ruin of many a poor boy
And God, I know I'm one

Crawl and 1OOO

[-]

Posts: 11439

(05/14/08 12:45 PM)

The Fuzzy Physicist
Administrator

Flying Omelette wrote:
Then you said that he claimed it was true and that he said he was the person in the story who knew "Rose".

I don't remember saying that, but even if I did, there's a good chance I wasn't being serious.

See how your opinion ruined Christmas for everyone!

Forum Jackass

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Posts: 111

(05/14/08 1:00 PM)

It seemed like you were. I think you even said something like, "That's pretty bad", or "That's not good" or something like that.

I can't find any relevant posts about it so I don't remember what the exact words were.

Oh my God, they found Tom.

Flying Omelette

[-]

Posts: 17766

(05/17/08 8:33 PM)

Frickin' Fred Durst on Stilts

Another thing about this story is that it takes the most selfish and egotistical viewpoint on education.

One purpose of education is not only to better yourself, but to use that education to benefit others as well. But Rose just gets her degree so she can brag about it in a "I'm now more special than you" sort of way.

I wouldn't be surprised if an older person originally wrote this story. I think that as people get older, they like to believe they're so full of wisdom and wise beyond anyone who is younger, that their every word drips with prophetic truth. I'm just the opposite. The older I get, the more I realize that most people are just as dumb as the next, regardless of age.

Think of what you're saying,
You can get it wrong
And still you think that it's all right.
Think of what I'm saying,
We can work it out
And get it straight or say good night.

There is a house in New Orleans
They call the Rising Sun
And it's been the ruin of many a poor boy
And God, I know I'm one

ACC KAIN

[-]

Posts: 770

(05/29/08 12:51 PM)

Band on the Run

Not to mention that there's absolutely no explanation of how she was able to afford college. There are a lot of people who want to go to college (like me), but simply do not have the money or the means. Even if I got student aid or a loan, it would have to be enough to either cover a ride every day or close living quarters, not to mention the costs of living, and usually it doesn't cover even your supplies let alone all of that.

Sorry, but with rising gas and food prices and everything else, it's not a matter of not having enough desire or motivation.

"No one can withstand the power of KAIN"

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"The Rose" - I hate this story

"I flew into the wild and fire. I danced and died a thousand times."

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